Want to change your life for the better? Start by examining your beliefs…
Beliefs are a lens through which we see and create our world. We look for information to validate our beliefs and we take actions in alignment with that information and validation.
Because beliefs affect what information we pay attention to and the actions we take as a result, it’s so important that they work for us.
Standing up for your beliefs is important, but question your beliefs first. Make sure they are really yours, not the default program running from your childhood. Make sure they serve you…
Beliefs are not truths – although they can feel that way.
Beliefs are not universal – although they can feel that way too.
I used to have a belief that I’m not very good with people in groups. This belief opened opportunities for me to connect with people one on one but it excluded me from group activities, group sports, collaboration and friendship circles.
While I developed strong individual friendships, I felt sad when I looked at friendship groups who stuck together and helped each other. Maintaining my friendships was time consuming and effortful, while groups seemed to support each other to catching up.
Sometimes, my one on one friendships felt very one sided and became too much work. My belief was starting to become, “I’m not very good with people.”
I started to notice this belief. I would hear myself say, “I’m not very good with people,” when I started a job or when I met new people. It was embarrassing for me and I’m sure the person who had just hired me for a front-facing retail job was also a little uncomfortable.
Ultimately, this belief didn’t serve me.
So I looked at it. Was it true for everyone? No, other people are good with groups.
Was it true for me all the time? No, there had been times when I had been part of a successful team project or welcomed into someone else’s group.
If it wasn’t true for others and it wasn’t true for me all the time, was it a valid belief? No.
What would serve me better?
(You see, you can make up your own beliefs to invite greater opportunity into your life, like swapping and eye patch for contact lenses).
“I like people and people like me.” Good.
“I always attract the perfect people and circumstances.” Better.
Having adopted these new beliefs around people over the last couple of months, I have seen a huge change in my social and professional network. I have met at least 15 new people (which is a lot for this former recluse), I have built new business relationships and opportunities and I feel more connected to others.
I facilitate group workshops and create a very inclusive and collaborative environment. Drawing people in with the mini one-on-one intimacy and helping bridge gaps using ice breakers to highlight things we have in common. It’s a lot of fun.
Beliefs are powerful, they’re worth standing up for if they serve you.
Here are some of my other beliefs:
I believe in a job well done.
I believe I already have everything I need to be successful
I believe the world is good and people are kind
I believe everyone deserves access to education
I believe bad experiences have a lot to teach us
I believe work doesn’t have to be hard to be worthwhile
I believe we are all naturally creative
I believe it’s possible – it doesn’t matter what it is.
I believe the why comes before the how
I believe I am worthy of health, wealth and love
I believe asking for help is a gift to others
I believe everyone needs a good teacher to be the best
Do you have a belief that’s not serving you?
Perhaps you can question it’s validity then choose one that serves you better; one that’s worth standing up for.
Be Brave and Curious,