Our world is getting more anxious. There are some very valid reasons for this but some of the problem is due to how we interpret our situation.
That’s right, we have a lot to answer for when it comes to our own emotions. The truth is, a good life is not an easy life. We need both ends of the spectrum. Usually, it’s the down, dark, challenging times where we grow and learn the most. But only if we’re open to it.
I am not immune. When I get upset, it takes over my whole day. I am less productive, more reactive. I feel really sorry for myself. I withdraw from interaction, seek blame and try to validate my feelings. Before long, I’m in a deep hole – it’s dark and I’m all alone. Then I realise where I am. And I start to tell myself about it: “No one needs you. You deserve to be here. You’re nothing special, just regular.”
The thing is, that’s really mean. Anyone hearing that would feel awful. And I know how to really rub salt in the wound because I know what hurts me the most. We sabotage ourselves so easily.
What if, during these dark times, we talked to ourselves like a friend?
I would never say those things to a stranger let alone my best friend. If she was feeling down, I would be the loudest, proudest person in the room acknowledging that it’s hard and reminding her of all her best qualities.
There’s a certain amount of spiralling I’m bound to go through before I become consciously aware of where my mind is at. The nature of our emotional brain is that it takes charge when we’re feeling threatened and cuts off connection to rational thought for a wee bit. But eventually, when we’re calm and quiet, our rational mind can catch up. That’s when we need to try and see things as they are and change the pattern; to talk to ourselves as a friend.
It’s not a quick fix. Our emotional habits are strong. Be patient and give yourself kindness, gratitude and grace.
If this message has resonated with you, please share it with a friend.